


caught your eye

by fistpumpwoo (rainsoakedcoat)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, Liam-centric, M/M, Oblivious!Liam, Pre-X Factor, character study of liam, fauxmances/PR relationships, missing pieces from 2008 to 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainsoakedcoat/pseuds/fistpumpwoo
Summary: liam is fourteen, in 2008, and meets a boy at a mcdonald’s that makes a serious impression. liam thinks about him until they meet again in 2010, and suddenly they’re in a band together, and he’s got three brothers he didn’t before. he falls in love with his fourth band mate, in spite of everything else. (or maybe not.)
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, background Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	caught your eye

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this in my drafts for years, and while I had originally had plans to make this a massive series, I think I have simply moved on from that idea! I still love ziam, still love 1D, but for now, I’ve got an ongoing work for a different fandom that I’m primarily focusing on right now. 
> 
> I still wanted to edit this and share it with the fandom, though, because I really love it; missing scenes fics are my shit. it helps me process everything, and reminds me that zayn & liam truly met because of fate, like come on bro, they’re legitimately soulmates!!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing this!

It’s 2008.

Liam’s fourteen, and he’s still growing into his bird chest. He’s fourteen and he’d be lonely if he knew the other side, but he’s managed to stay away. He’s sweet and he’s kind; the cynicism of the world refuses to stick to his ribs. He’s doing well with his studies. He remains unconcerned with what other people are doing; what matters most to him is that his family is doing well, and they are. His older sisters are his biggest supporters, and his parents come in a close second.

He sings in the shower every morning, and straightens his hair, and wears clothes that he thinks are trendy. Oddly enough, the popular kids don’t look at him twice. He holds his head high in the hallways, brown locks bouncing with each footstep.

It’s Saturday, and Liam walks into McDonald’s, crumpled notes shoved into his pocket. He’s a ten-minute walk from his flat, and his parents trust him enough to be home before dark, so he takes advantage of the freedom. He takes a cursory look around the building, orders himself some food—he’s proud that his voice doesn’t tremble—and sits down at a table facing the doors. Liam digs in, but eventually the taste of the food fades out as he finds himself thinking about the coursework he’s got to finish when gets home later. Maybe he’ll buy himself some ice cream with the money he earned from doing work for his neighbors.

When he’s finished, he ambles outside, only to catch the eye of a pretty boy making his way to the entrance of the McDonald’s. Liam stops in his tracks and smiles, noticing the wristbands the other teen’s wearing. One’s got the name of a band that Liam likes, and so he seizes the opportunity to spark a conversation with the kid standing before him.

The dark coif the boy is wearing sparks an interest in Liam—he can’t place the feeling, but he smiles. Liam can feel himself magnetized by the deep brown eyes that spot him, a slow smile reciprocating Liam’s.

Liam gathers his courage, blurting out, “I’ve got the same wristband, mate!”

The beautiful boy before him lets out a small laugh, tongue pressing up against his teeth, and Liam can feel something inside him shake, just a little bit. Liam’s palms become clammy, so he tries to discreetly rub them on his pants, asking for the boy’s name as way of distraction.

Learning his name is a lovely disaster; Zayn is a fleeting phenomenon that will make all the difference, despite his brief tenure. Liam’s not really sure why he cares so deeply about this conversation or why he’s sweating so much, which makes him sweat more. He offers his home phone number, but Zayn waves him off gently, offering up another quiet smile instead.

Liam shivers in the chilly air, yet he can feel a little heat spring to his cheeks. They part ways, and Liam forgets about his coursework or any original plans of buying ice cream as he walks home thinking about the way Zayn said his name; Liam tries not to feel down when he doesn’t see Zayn the next day.

Liam ultimately doesn’t qualify for the singing competition he tries out for, but it’s probably for the best. The creepy smile of one particular judge continues to bother him, but he pushes past this, and vows to himself that he’ll try out again. He’ll make sure to hone the control of his voice until they have no choice but to listen to him for longer than the three minutes he got on stage this time.

Liam’s fifteen, and he hurts. Slurs cracking down onto his skin is something he becomes accustomed to, but the withering stares of girls standing by lockers breaks down his resolve each day. Liam starts getting pounded down in alleyways any time he’s minding his own business; the world has started to come for him, and it’s not pretty. It’s ugly bruises that imprint themselves under his skin, it’s bloody noses he tries to staunch. Pain blooms in his chest, over and over again.

He’s lonely, and there’s some time of twisted lesson in how much it hurts; he thought right hooks to the jaw couldn’t hurt more than this, but he learns it raw very quickly.

Beyond the pain, Liam remains sweet and kind; he tells himself this will all blow over soon, that he’ll take off with a massive singing career, one day. Tells himself that these people don’t, and won’t, matter; _kill them with kindness_ , he says as a mirrored mantra day after day.

He takes the pain and molds it into boxing moves. He molds it into controlling his diaphragm, molds it into singings his scales in the shower, every morning. He continues to straighten his hair and wear his trendy clothes, holding his head high as he can.

With time, the hurt goes away, a little. Sometimes, he thinks about Zayn. He thinks about how the boy with obsidian eyes would hit; if he could break bones with just a look. Liam reminds himself of the softness he found in Zayn, and discards the idea. Liam tells himself that Zayn’s too beautiful for such a broken boy as himself. He finds himself thinking about Zayn more often than not. His wristbands and his silence are heavy weights to carry, grounding Liam into a stability he hasn’t quite found yet. It’s brown eyes the shade of salt of the earth, a crinkly smile, that lulls Liam to sleep.

Liam’s fifteen, and he wants.

Liam’s sixteen, and he can knock someone out with his right hook. Muscles have developed in his arms and legs that keep him safe, keep the slurs quieter, the glares softer, nowadays. Liam has reasons, finally, to hold his head high, hard as it is, still.

He straightens his hair every day, and he thinks too often about a boy he met long ago, but he’s happy again. Joy crackles in his laughter, even when no one comes to his birthday party. Even as he begins to understand that maybe, just maybe, the others are afraid of him now. The world doesn’t understand the truth of it all; Liam is still the kind soul he always was, but now he is armed to the teeth in ways that the world pushed him to—it never knew that he’d follow through.

There is solace in family, and it feels deeply profound when Liam knows that, in another world--another universe, another time--Zayn would have come. He adjusts, and he daydreams, and he sings in the shower. He boxes on the punching bag his parents bought him for his quiet, quiet birthday. Days are spent in realities unknown, as time slips away, and Liam’s another year older, still lost in what could have been.

But fate’s a strange thing.

It’s 2010, and when Liam walks into McDonald’s, accompanied by a friend he’s made through boxing, he notices a familiar set of obsidian eyes. He feels in his gut it’s the man that’s swirled around in his dreams, only to never be seen again. It’s Zayn, two years later, come in the nick of time, somehow. It’s another world, another universe, another time, converging into Liam, and he’s breathless at his luck. Who would have ever thought he’d see this man again?

His friend elbows him for making a scene, as Liam calls out Zayn’s name, but Liam just huffs out a laugh; he’s willing to make a fool of himself if it’ll get Zayn to notice him. He lost him once, and he’s not about to lose him again. Zayn searches the room, and his face lights up, spotting Liam. In a hundred years, Liam would never have expected that the other man would recognize him the way he did him. Fate is a strange thing indeed. Liam can feel his friend loosen up as fellow customers keep on eating, unbothered by the small spectacle they’d created, the two of them trapped in their bubble of locked eyes and nervous hands.

Liam and Zayn start to talk about the band they both like, the one Liam noticed those years ago, and he realizes it’s the first time’s Liam’s heard something substantial come from Zayn’s mouth. This time, he’s old enough to recognize his attraction for what it is. It feels like relief hearing Zayn speak about his passion, his face lit up with excitement. Liam’s hands are clammy again, his cheeks heating as he talks to this beautiful boy with the golden skin. He tries to hold himself together, scared he’ll shake apart from the sheer force of his joy at finding his friend after these years apart.

“They’re pretty great, yeah?” Zayn’s accent opens words up—Liam has to take a moment to absorb what the boy’s said, and so he leans in subconsciously. He realizes he’s a bit close to Zayn, but the other teen doesn’t seem to mind, his shoulders bent, but his face smooth and confident.

The three of them get on so well, as Liam’s friend has since joined the conversation, it feels as if he’s known Zayn his whole life, the complete one hundred and twenty-six minutes of their two encounters adding up to make the bulk of his sixteen years. Liam should stop and consider this fact, but he instead settles his concentration on enjoying the time he has with Zayn all that much more, and he makes the promise to himself that he won’t let this one go.

He goes to sleep with the words, “Don’t worry. I’ll see you around, _Leeyum_. Right?” swirling in his head.

Liam’s seventeen, and he’s clutched his voice in a way he has never before. He wakes up with the certainty that now is his time for redemption; buoyed by the support of his family, he makes his way to the X Factor auditions, again.

He fails bootcamp for solos, but then he’s placed in a group with four other boys in hopes of advancing in the ‘groups’ category. Zayn is there, and Liam is helpless to the magnetism he exudes. With a sinking feeling, Liam realizes he’s way in over his head.

In a flash, they’re in a band together. The two of them have now got three new brothers to and that’s ultimately all that matters. It’s the minute they find out they’ve made it big—they’re all crying and trembling and hugging—that Zayn and Liam share a moment of their own, embracing so hard Liam can feel something shake and then settle into his bones, a feeling of contentment he didn’t know could be there in the first place, something he’s been chasing since setting his sights on the boy with golden skin and a smile that could light up the sky.

Liam barely sleeps that night; he’s ecstatic with this newfound brotherhood, this recognition of his vocal talents, this budding love.

Liam’s still seventeen, not quite yet eighteen, and each of the boys have all seen Liam’s curls at one point or another, whether he’s just coming out of the shower or the pool or catch a glimpse of Liam getting dressed, early in the morning. It feels the most profound when Zayn catches him in the middle of pulling his personal straightener across his curls one morning.

They’ve been a band for a few weeks now, spending nearly all of their waking time together, and Liam tries hard to maintain his cool composure; the irony that Zayn’s the one who sees Liam without his wits about him doesn’t escape Liam. Liam’s got a pair of khakis on with only a white undershirt. Liam’s quietly straightening his hair when Zayn slowly pushes open the bathroom door, eyelids half-open. He gently presses a hand against Liam’s back, the heat of his skin warming Liam slightly, sending a rush of pink to his cheeks as Zayn slides behind Liam, making his way over to the sink. Liam laughs lightly as he continues to pull the straightener down the lock of hair he’s working on, watching Zayn attempt to wash his face while still half-asleep.

A few moments later, Zayn, with a clean and dried face, smiles softly when he sees Liam put the straightener down carefully, making eye contact with Liam in the mirror.

Zayn, more lucid now, turns around, running a hand into the half of Liam’s hair that hasn’t been straightened, fingers curling around the wavy locks.

Liam’s breath stops; he’s never been this close to Zayn, despite him and the boys all being very, very comfortable with each other. It’s never felt this intense, this heated, standing before Zayn like this, his mouth slightly slack in awe, looking at Liam’s curls like they’re something to be _treasured,_ something beautiful. It was a new feeling for Liam.

Liam slides a hand behind Zayn and unplugs the straightener when he realizes that Zayn is going to remain in the bathroom with him. Liam can’t finish his hair in front of Zayn, out of sheer embarrassment, despite his hair being as wonky as it is in its current state.

Zayn sighs out, “Mate, your hair is nice just like this,” and their mouths are _so close_ Liam can feel Zayn’s breath on his lips. Zayn’s looking at his mouth as his fingers tug just a little bit, and Liam bites his lip. Zayn’s eyes snap back up to his eyes, and they’re at a stalemate, waiting for someone to make a move, when Zayn smirks and—

The sound of Niall stretching and groaning makes them both jump apart, and Zayn smiles, a blush set to his cheeks, and just walks out, leaving Liam to wet the other half of his hair and let his curls run free today, alone.

The boys are literally inseparable. They do cuddle puddles and talk about their dreams and their aspirations and how lucky they feel to be in this band together. Liam feels alive, truly, for the first time.

Liam’s eighteen, and Liam and Zayn fall into a routine. Whether it’s out in public, on stage, in interviews, or in the safety of their hotel rooms, they’ve always got each other’s backs, and it’s not long before Liam thinks he knows everything there is to know about Zayn. He’s seen the doodles Zayn creates when he thinks no one’s paying attention, he’s seen Zayn get quiet—very, very quiet, when he tries to fade into the background—but Liam refuses to let that happen, and talks to him until he’s able to coax Zayn to stay present, to stay grounded.

Zayn’s the one who reminds Liam not to push himself too hard, reminds him not to beat himself up when he doesn’t hit the notes he wants. Liam is constantly reminding himself that fame is fickle, and if he’s not up to par, he will be replaced, but Zayn’s always there to remind him otherwise, he’s always there to remind him that Liam is the backbone of One Direction, that he will always be good enough, no matter what anyone says. He mentions that if anyone were to be replaced, it’d be Zayn. Liam thinks otherwise, but doesn’t risk saying anything, because when Zayn is passionate, Zayn is a force to be reckoned with.

Liam’s still eighteen, and he meets a woman that is really kind, and pretty, on X Factor. She’s a dancer named Danielle, and they go on a few dates. It’s not Liam that blows these dates out of proportion. They kiss a few times; Liam really likes her, and the boys are supportive. It’s funny, though, because Zayn gets sour anytime an interviewer asks about Liam’s relationship status, or brings up Danielle. Liam laughs about it, because he knows all of them have been working really long hours, and it’s easy to let the confident façade slip when the spotlight is taken off.

It’s not until Louis pulls him aside one day, firm grip on his shoulder, but warmth in his eyes, and says, “I need you to take it easy on Zayn, okay, mate?” that Liam realizes there’s something going on that he doesn’t know about.

As he’s not sure what the context is, Liam says, “Yeah, always,” and keeps it moving. He’d never want to hurt Zayn, so he just makes sure to be gentler in their interactions. Louis hugs him close to his chest, like it might be their last, so Liam holds him tightly.

The boys start to act differently when it’s all of them together, like Harry and Louis will do their ‘sweetheart’ sign, but instead of doing it towards each other, they’ll point at Zayn. They do it on the Vevo webcam, and Liam can’t help but notice that it’s deliberate. Niall doesn’t seem to think much of it, so Liam doesn’t think too much about it.

It’s nice being close to Zayn, so Liam takes the opportunity to bask in the sunshine of his smile and the warmth of his skin being this close to his. Liam sees the question of, “if you could live anywhere, where would it be?” come across the screen. Louis gives a halting answer, encouraged by Harry’s smile, when he says that he’s always lived in England, so why not stay. Liam then decides to redirect the question towards Zayn, who’s currently pressing a firm hand to Liam’s cheek, smiling sillily.

Zayn responds, “Right next to you, _Leeyum_!” and Liam’s immediately blushing like he’s fourteen again and still has a crush on the boy he met at a Mackey D’s all those years ago. Embracing a burst of playful energy, Liam shoves Zayn onto the ground, laughing at the expression on Zayn’s face when he desperately calls Liam’s name again. The boys all laugh, and Liam’s heart lifts with joy. It is quite literally one of the best feelings in the world to be around the four of them.

Over time, Zayn gets more comfortable, and thus, touchier. Even Liam notices. Every time Liam gets back from spending time with Danielle, Zayn’s waiting up for him. Whether it’s after a film or a dinner, or both, Liam can bank on Zayn being there. He’s usually small and quiet, sketching something; sometimes he lets Liam see, but more often than not, he doesn’t, and Liam respects that. Usually, they snuggle up while the other boys sleep. Liam’s more than happy to be close to someone he loves. He tells himself he deserves the four of them.

It's June, and Liam’s fed up with Zayn’s mocking. They’re closer than ever, singing on stage in Phoenix, and Zayn keeps joking that he’s gonna fight Liam. Liam knows he’d never lay his hands on his bandmate, and vice versa, so when Zayn throws his flannel out like he’s threatening Liam, Liam decides that the only solution is to drag him behind stage and grind the shit out of him. He tells himself it’s not a big deal. No one will know, and Zayn’s not one to speak on their teasing to those who don’t already know what’s going on.

The next night is performing in Las Vegas, and it’s blisteringly hot outside with the desert’s early summer weather. The heat seems to ratchet everyone up six notches. Liam’s twitchy, Danielle’s flown in as a VIP, and Zayn’s got a bad attitude. As soon as he finds out about Danielle, he’s blown a gasket. He’s yelling at their managers, screaming about ‘privacy’ and ‘personal freedom,’ and Liam’s never seen him as angry as he is now.

Louis and Niall escort Liam out of the room, as Liam wasn’t even aware that Danielle would be flying in for this concert, or why it matters, and Harry stays behind to press his hands to Zayn’s face, trying to ground him. Liam wishes he could fix whatever’s going wrong, but he submits to Louis and Niall’s wills. They do their best at dress rehearsal, down two band members.

Come to find out later, during dress rehearsal, Zayn’s punched a wall. The moment Liam hears Harry come onto the stage and whimper that Zayn’s hurt himself, Liam’s running backstage to find out what’s going on. Zayn’s cradling his hand, collapsed on a chair. Fury is in his glare, directed at their managers, who are on the phone with what Liam assumes is a medic. Zayn’s quiet, even in his rage.

“What happened, Zayn?” Liam’s boyish voice sounds silly to his own ears, and he feels glued to the spot, unable to comfort Zayn, yet again.

Zayn winces, rasping out, “The Syco representatives here thought it’d be a great idea to have Danielle here, so you two could get papped together. It’d be easy publicity.” He steels himself and clears his throat. “I don’t know why Danielle has to be here,” Zayn says more quietly. “You guys haven’t even been together for that long. We get loads of publicity already. We’re fucking smashing it, on our own.”

One of their managers is cold when she gives them an ultimatum. “It’s either pap pics with Danielle, or someone gets in trouble.” Liam cringes when he realizes there’s many different ways to punish them, which include being forbidden from seeing their loved ones. He thinks back to the legalese of his original contract post-X-Factor, trying to recall any and all mentions of punishments.

Harry’s refocused onto comforting Zayn, touching his shoulder gently in an attempt to redirect him, while the bombshell that their PR team is attempting to exploit Liam’s relationship settles fully onto Liam. Zayn looks like he’s going to spit on someone, so Niall puts himself between Zayn and the Syco representatives, and says directly to their PR manager, “Is that all Liam has to do? Because it’s not going to be worth it for him to do anything more.”

Zayn deflates. Another representative from their label hangs up the phone. She says, “The medics are on their way. They’ll be here in ten minutes, max, but I need the rest of you on stage in five.” When none of the boys have moved from their spots, the PR representative follows up, “The pap pics are it, for now.”

Someone sighs, and Harry presses a kiss to Zayn’s forehead, making his way to get up, quietly walking out to the stage.

Louis pushes himself off the wall, near Liam, and says, “I’ll take the brunt if Liam can’t—or won’t—do the pap pics. He deserves a choice.” He runs a hand across Zayn’s cheek, who presses into the touch, and walks back out, onto the stage. Niall sighs, and follows behind him.

It’s just Zayn, Liam, and the Syco representatives left. Liam’s still trying to accept the fact that he, Danielle, and their budding relationship, are being exploited for publicity. He feels like absolute shit, but he’s also preoccupied with still trying to understand what it was that made _Zayn_ of all the boys the angriest. He’s always got such a calm head about things.

Liam presses his fingers into his sinuses, trying his best to speak confidently when he says, “I’ll do the pap walk. Whatever I need to do, tell me, and I’ll do it. But you get Zayn the best medical treatment possible. His hand’s probably broken.” Liam glances over at Zayn, who refuses to make eye contact, and he braces himself for the incoming concert.

The official story is that Zayn hurt his hand ‘exercising’ when he walks out with a bandaged hand. Liam’s left to wonder what he did wrong, because Zayn avoids him the entire time they’re on stage. Danielle may be watching, but that bolsters him only slightly. It comes to a head when they’re singing ‘More Than This,’ and Liam gets close to Zayn, only for him to inch away.

By the time their choreography instructs them to all sit together on the couch in the center of stage, Liam leaves plenty of room between Zayn and himself, because as much he loves Zayn, he doesn’t want to push him when it’s clear the other boy wants nothing to do with him right now.

Unfortunately, Louis throws himself onto the couch, and slides over, pushing Liam’s body to the point that Liam and Zayn’s thighs are touching. Liam’s face heats up at the close contact, thinking of the way Zayn’s skin gleams in the show lights. Harry’s on the other side of Zayn, and he’s smiling, so Liam relaxes, and then Niall finishes up the choreography by squeezing all of them onto the couch together, and Liam’s got one last idea to have Zayn look at him.

All he wants is for Zayn to look at him.

He sings his solo, in all seriousness, with as much gravitas as he can muster, “I can love you more than this,” to Zayn, and he prays, to anyone, that Zayn will see the love in his eyes if he were to only look back.

The rest of the concert, even after the costume change, Liam’s nearly in tears begging Zayn to look at him. He doesn’t have enough space to hold all the heaviness of the facts that one of his best friends is mad at him, for god knows why, is badly injured, and his own relationship is being exploited by his managers. It’s all too much to handle, so Liam gives it his all for the remaining concert, channeling his anxious energy into his performance.

By the time the concert’s over, and everyone’s heading backstage, Zayn shoves past Liam with his uninjured side, and is silent the entire ride to the hotel. Liam, meanwhile, is expected to be photographed leaving the concert with Danielle, so he is. He smiles for the cameras, because he is happy to be spending time with Danielle, but beneath the surface, Liam is terrified of so much. Danielle doesn’t seem to be fazed, despite it all.

Liam thinks more about it, even when he goes back to his room. Him and Danielle might not be the best fit.

The very next day, they’re all back in Phoenix, and Liam’s resigned himself to not being acknowledged by Zayn, much less spoken to by Zayn. When it comes to being alone with Liam, he walks out of the room, or busies himself with something else. It’s devastating, seeing someone he loves so dearly walk away from him. They have been brothers for years now, ever since they were young and met outside of a McDonald’s, and he’s sickened by the love he still holds in his heart.

He still wants to kiss Zayn’s lips, hold Zayn’s hand, wipe Zayn’s tears away; Liam makes the most of the situation by telling himself that this is for the best, because then he can get over this stupid crush. It’s reared its ugly head in moments between the two of them, both big and small, and this is no exception. Liam just hopes that they can recover from whatever it is that he’s done, in order to repair their casual friendship, at the very least, if not their deep love for one another. Sometimes he thinks back to the time that Zayn caught him straightening his hair; he wants that version of Zayn back, the one who was soft and sweet with his touches.

At the very least, Zayn is more light-hearted tonight, if only with the other boys. Harry, Niall, and Louis pull the same couch stunt that they did the night before, and Liam’s a little tired of it. Zayn can be extremely stubborn at times, and it’s embarrassing and frustrating for the boys to try to rush Zayn to forgiveness before he’s ready, especially when Liam is trying his hardest to avoid making the situation worse.

Finally, finally, after their costume change, Liam is singing “I Want” to the crowd. Slowly, he feels a gentle hand on his face, and he turns around, terrified he’ll break the magic of the moment. His heart stops in his chest. He’s so stunned that it’s Zayn, with his warmth and softness. It’s _Zayn_ , and he’s not mad, he’s smiling like it’s the day they found out they won X Factor, and Liam’s heart is leaping in his chest like it has never before. Liam is in love—he has realized it in this moment. He knows he is in deep when Zayn’s sheepish smile is right there, and so close and so easy and beautiful, and Liam may be in front of thousands of screaming fans, but no one else matters in this moment but Zayn, and so he rides this glorious, glorious moment; he is walking on air, for the rest of the concert. He feels like he’s shining, illuminated by the force of his love for Zayn, his forgiveness like a balm he has never felt before.

Liam’s rhythm is quite literally thrown off, as he tries to sing “I want,” over and over again, when he really wants to be screaming it. It is so absolutely, unequivocally, true; he wants and he wants and he wants.

Reality hits Liam hard the next day. Danielle texts him that she wants to see him, as she’s still in the area, and he remembers they’re still dating; the whirlwind of the past two days had him forgetting that below the PR requirement, before the realization, there was still a romantic commitment between them. They usually spent Liam’s night off going on a date of some sort together, and because Liam knows that Zayn would never reciprocate Liam’s feelings, and he would never want to hinder their friendship, he agrees. Liam would rather have Zayn’s love in the ways he can have it. He can move on, with time, with Danielle.

Before leaving for his date, Liam’s stopped by Louis with a question about where he was going. Liam responds, “I’m going to go see Danielle for a bit, but I won’t be long. Why?”

Louis cryptically responds with, “Oh, I just like to know what my boys are doing,” and hugs him goodbye.

Liam falls asleep on Danielle’s hotel room bed, words swirling around his head, and he thinks about piercing blue eyes seeing beyond him.

Two days after the caressing, and Liam’s realization, Zayn backs off. With this retraction, Liam’s even more confused as to what’s going on. He had thought they were on good terms. It seems like Zayn isn’t necessarily angry with him, even.

Liam makes a point to spend more time with the boys, than Danielle. As expected, his relationship begins to suffer, and Liam is forced to choose between what his head says and what his heart wants, with his heart feeling like it’s getting trampled, in all directions.

It’s a month after their encore Phoenix performance, and it’s Harry this time that goes to cryptically speak to Liam.

“Hey Leeyum! What have you been up to? I haven’t seen you all day,” Harry’s molasses-slow words settle in, and Liam realizes that he’s been playing the Xbox without giving thought to the other boys for most of the day.

“I’ve been playing CoD, if you wanna join, mate,” Liam offers the other controller to Harry, who declines.

Harry smiles kindly, and says, “I just wanted to make sure you were still alive, since we all went out for the day, and you opted to stay in. Are you avoiding anyone?” Liam’s taken back by the question, and it shows. “Oh no, I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything, Leeyum. There have just been some ideas floating around,” Harry’s apologetic tone is genuine.

“What kind of ideas have been ‘floating around, Harry?” Liam’s about to become overwhelmed; this game of ‘love-you, love-you not,’ has been taking a serious toll.

“I’m just saying, you should speak with Zayn.”

Liam avoids the conversation for a few more days, now actively avoiding both Danielle and Zayn. It could be that Zayn is unsure of how to proceed, waiting for Liam to reciprocate his affections, but Liam’s not going to be taking any chances; he’d show his hand in a heartbeat.

It’s not until Niall, of all people, goes up to him, and is blunt, “Zayn thinks you hate him, and I think you two need to speak to one another. Go fix your issues!” Niall gently pushes Liam out of bed and takes his hand to lead him into Louis and Zayn’s room, where they’re playing cards with Harry.

Liam and Zayn’s eyes lock, and Louis whistles. “Nice job, Niall! Thought we’d never get them in the same room since Phoenix!” The other boys trudge out, with Louis throwing his cards in the air, leaving Zayn and Liam behind to confront their feelings.

“I’m not ready—”

“I hope I didn’t—”

Both boys speak at the same time, and Zayn huffs out a quiet laugh. Liam says, “You go first, since the boys have been telling me that you have created some ideas out of thin air.” Zayn goes solemn.

“I hope I didn’t upset you, by being touchy with you, that night,” Zayn looks down at his hands. “I had missed you.”

“But why had you missed me, Zayn? Why didn’t you talk to me, or come up to me, or even look at me?” Liam’s voice was starting to raise. “What did I do that meant it was okay to give me the silent treatment? I was terrified you hated me.”

Zayn winces. “Syco makes me sick, Liam. What they’re doing to us… to you… it’s more than I can bear. I can’t bear to see you exploited like that, Liam.”

“That’s not all of it, and you know it. What was really your damage? What did I do wrong? I missed you for so long, and you left me clueless. I’m sorry for whatever I did to you, but I need you to know I missed you too. I love you, Zayn. I love you all. I’m not here just for the fame or the fortune. I’m here because I chose to be here, and I need you to know that,” Liam’s shaking from the force of admitting his feelings, and he’s scared. The culmination of a month of fear and confusion was coming to a head. Before Liam could go further and admit his confusion over his feelings for Zayn, Zayn spoke.

“I—I was wrong. And I’m sorry for that, Liam. You deserve to be treated with respect, and I really do fucking despise the way the way they want to exploit you. It’s disgusting. I just wish I could say the right things more often, but I always say the wrong things around you. When I say I love you, I mean it. I love you with my whole self, Liam. Things fall into place when you’re here. I was jealous. I’m sorry. I was jealous over Danielle and I’m sick that it’s not me in her place. You deserve so much better than me, Liam.”

Liam’s stunned, and his shaking intensifies. “I need time to figure things out. I’m not ready,” and he rushes out of the room, leaving Zayn behind in an empty room. He’d never expected for Zayn to reciprocate his feelings.

They had a few weeks off from touring, so the boys take their time recharging with family and friends, removing themselves from business of the band for just a little while longer. Liam texts the groupchat, and it’s quieter than usual, as everyone is off doing their own activities, and resting, but they always faithfully respond at some point. It’s just that Zayn avoids direct interaction, which, to be fair, Liam prefers as of right now. It’s giving the two of them time to think about where it is that they want their lives to go for now.

Liam sees Danielle over break, and it’s nice. It’s always nice; they feel better as friends, than as romantic partners, however, and Liam suggests that one day. Danielle just brushes the comment off, and they continue on their dates. It’s not like Liam had been that serious anyway. He doesn’t know how he would break up with someone anyway.

Danielle asks about Zayn, and Liam tells her the truth, that Zayn is going through a difficult time right now, so he’s taking some space to think things over, including space from Liam. Danielle seems satisfied with the answer.

The boys come back together refreshed. Liam comes back feeling more solid within his friendship with Zayn. He decides the two of them can just remain close friends; he tells himself that there’s no need to be romantic, when their friendship is so much more guaranteed, especially considering that if they were to break up, they would still have to remain in the band together.

Zayn walks on eggshells around Liam for a bit, but eventually works his way back up to the way they once were. There is always an intense hesitation, but Zayn tends to err on the side of ‘this touch is welcome.’ The other boys are not super stoked over the lack of direct communication, especially considering they all had their time off to think and reflect on everything that had happened in the previous months, but they take it, for now.

Danielle and Liam drift apart, despite Danielle’s best efforts. Liam knows, with each date, that their relationship simply is not sustainable. Liam’s terrified of what that means for the band, for the PR situation, for what Zayn and him could be.

It’s not until an interview about who might get married first that Liam makes a decision. Harry, Niall, and Louis immediately claim that it’s Liam who will get married first, as he’s the safe response, but Liam grabs the microphone. Niall warns him, quietly, by calling his name, and Liam’s palms are sweating, but he follows through. Bolstered by the smile on Zayn’s face next to his, Liam says, “I reckon Zayn would, because, Zayn, like makes his mind up about things.”

Liam looks into Zayn’s face, and decides he’s okay with what he sees.

They move on. So does Danielle, and so does the PR team.

Liam trusts his instincts, and gives in, after their years of dancing around one another. After years of dreaming about the boy with obsidian eyes and golden skin, love blooms and blossoms; they finally kiss, slowly and quietly, in the tiny hours of the night, after the interview. Liam can feel a settling in his bones with their embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!
> 
> 1D blog: @ohiofishingdate
> 
> link to the interview where liam & zayn talk about meeting in 2008: https://ohiofishingdate.tumblr.com/post/155932250598/buzz-lightpayne-zayn-i-met-liam-outside
> 
> edit: forgot to include the link to this incredible series documenting ziam, you can find it reuploaded at this channel, "I Like Yoghurt School Mondays" on youtube! here's the video I wrote about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6-eJfYCPDg


End file.
